True Story #7

Posted 05.03.2007

I was born and raised in Philadelphia, but at this current time, I am debating whether or not to move to Florida, being that I just left the mother of my aborted child after 2-3 months of not being able to deal with it any more. My family was always OK growing up... but there were many problems with my dad and his drug addictions. My mom was straight and always there for us when my dad wasn't. He was shot and killed when I was only 8 years old. Anyway, on with the story about me and the mother of my aborted child... We had met about 9 months ago. It was May 29th, 2006 to be exact. About 3 months ago, we found out that she was pregnant. To be honest, we where stupid and did not use protection. Her mother seemed to know and she had to go for a physical the upcoming Friday. So we kind of told her mom on the phone. We went to her house and her mom insisted on an abortion. My baby's mother always said abortion was not an option but she began to change her mind. I was very upset and even told her I was gone if she got an abortion and that I couldn't be with a murderer. I told her she was as good as those who had killed my father, then she changed her mind once again. But her mom snagged her up one day on her way to school. You see, I hadn't been allowed to see her and am still not to this day. But she went. I was instantly broken. I walked back to my uncles as slowly as I could. Along the way, I ran into a cop and asked her if I could ask her a question, to which she said "yes". I asked "at the age of 16 is your parent allowed to MAKE you get an abortion?" She said "no", which may or may not be true, but the mother of my child swears up and down she told the abortionist not to do it. I am not one for going to church... I won't lie. But all week I had wore my father's high school ring, carried a rosary, prayed every night and went to the cemetary and asked my dad for help. I even asked a priest for help. In the end, I just stopped asking God and my dad for help and just asked them to do what was best. I just don't know what to do. I am still angry and drive myself crazy over my dad. But here I am, grieving about my baby, and I blame myself. I swear there was more that I could have done, but I also blame the mother because according to an officer of the law, she didnt have to go through with it.

Commentary

It's obvious this man is hurting. In this case, he felt completely powerless to save his child. In a study conducted by David Reardon of the Elliot Institute (http://afterabortion.info/survey1.html), it was reported that 54% of the women who had an abortion felt "forced" by someone else. Of that 54%, 42% felt pressured by their male partner (the highest percentage) and 21% felt pressured by a parent. In this man's case, there was nothing he could have done to prevent the abortion from happening. His reactions and statements were a normal, defensive response to his feelings of powerlessness... "I'm gone if you do this... I can't be with a murderer." Our culture rightly has high expectations from men to be resposible fathers to their children. The irony is that before his child is born, he's not allowed to have any say in the fate of his child. As for the legality of a parent's involvement in a minor's abortion, as of 1999, there were 29 states with mandatory parental involvement laws, Pennsylvania included. "61% of minors who have abortions do so with at least one parent's knowledge. The great majority of parent's support their daughter's decision to have an abortion." (http://www.agi-usa.org/pubs/fb_teen_sex.pdf).

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