True Story #10

Posted 02.05.2008

So.....where to start. I had a girlfriend and we had been dating about 7 months. We lived about 2 hours apart while she was at college and I lived in my town working a full time job and playing bass in a rock band. Gina and I had always been great friends since we were about 7 years old. We would see each other every summer and what not and our situations in life had finally let us come to a point to get together and fall in love.

After much debate and consideration we both decided it was best for us financially and relationship-wise for me to move in with her 2 hours away from where I was staying. No problem at all. Next thing I know, Christmas is almost here and New Year's eve I was moving in with her. I told my landlord, bandmates, and boss I was moving to start a new with the woman I loved in a great city.

The week before Christmas, Gina went to visit her parents and give them the news about my moving in. Her dad was obviously against it and made her decide she was already tied up with college and a full time job and I would just put more stress in her life.....so she backed out of the arrangement.

So I was left with a week in my house, no job, and practically no friends...and she wouldn't speak to me on the phone. Only through text messages. Christmas day came and went and through an almost interogation like 'conversation' through text, she told me she found out Christmas night she was pregnant and was already trying to set up an abortion.

I was devestated. I turned to as many friends as possible. Some saying "go see her," others saying to "forget about her" and others telling me "this is what you get for fooling around without protection" (she was on the hormone shot anyways).

I expressed how I wanted to help but she kept saying "give me space." I was the father of our child and all she wanted to do was keep me away. Nearly a month rolls by and she tells me she is going to the mountains with some friends to get her head together. At this point, I had already expressed that I wanted to have our child and to help raise it. Until this point I had gone with the "I'll love you and support you no matter what you choose."

Turns out she came back from the mountains early because she had started bleeding. Upon going to the doctor, she found out she had a miscarriage. She said she is happier with this situation since she won't feel guilty about having a hand in the childs death, but this left me empty inside. In the end, I lost the woman I loved and when it seemed I would finally get to be a father, I had that pleasure stripped away from me.

In the end she decided not to see me anymore and still lives far away. She still refuses to speak, but that's fine. I know our life-long friendship has taken a strain, but time will help us heal. I still feel the pain knowing I'm not a father, but I know with the help of others who've been in this situation (my mother had a miscarriage when I was 10 and my father's ex-girlfriend had an abortion 5 years before I was born) I know I've found, and am currently still finding strength to continue on.

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